Now that's a stretch!

Grange’s joke for the circle

An Italian, a Frenchman and an Aussie were talking about screams of passion

The Italian said: “Last night I massaged my wife all over her body with the finest extra virgin olive oil, then we made passionate love and I made her scream, non stop for five minutes.” The Frenchman said: “Last night I massaged my wife all over her body with special aphrodisiac oil from Provence and then we made passionate love. I made her scream for fifteen minutes straight.” The Aussie said: That’s nothing! Last night I massaged my wife, ya’know, all over her body with a special butter. I caressed her entire body with the butter, and then made love and I made her scream for two long hours.” The Italian and Frenchman, are astonished, and asked?, “Two full hours?….. Wow! that’s unbelievable. How did you do it to make her scream for two hours?” The Aussie replied, “I wiped my hands on the curtains.”

A man with a Great Dane and a man with a Chihuahua go to a bar, but it says “no pets allowed”

One man says to the other “how will we bring our dogs inside?” The second man gives the first a pair of very dark sunglasses and says “do what I do.” He goes inside and the manager says “Sorry, no pets allowed.” The man says “You don’t understand. This is my guide dog.” “A great dane? Really?” Says the manager. “Yeah, they just got them into service. He’s great at protecting me, and his sense of smell allows me to easily find my way around the city” The manager decides to let him in. The man with the Chihuahua was watching carefully, and goes “how hard can this be?” So he puts on his sunglasses and goes to the bar. The manager sees him and says once again: “sorry sir, not pets allowed.” You don’t understand, this is my guide dog.” “A chihuahua?” “A CHIHUAHUA?! THEY GAVE ME A CHIHUAHUA?!”

A husband asks his wife, “If I die, will you marry another man?”

A husband asks her wife, “If I die, will you marry again?”

The wife answered, “No, of course not! I’m going to go live with my sister. What about you, are you planning another marriage when I’m gone? “

He replied, “No, same with you. I’m going to go live with your sister.”